Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
