My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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