No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
