Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
