Porn is love you can see.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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