She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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