in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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