Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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