Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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