I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
