Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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