Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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