hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
