How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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