I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I want to be your penis for a week.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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