We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
