somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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