I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just wanna soil my oats bro
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
