I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Best friends brother. Beat that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
