I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
