If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize