Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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