but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
