is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
