12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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