My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
