is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
