She announced her abortion via fbk
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
