Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize