He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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