Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
