i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
