so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
