Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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