BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
