Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
