It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
