We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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