why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
