why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
