Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
