did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
