And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
