Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize