i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Someone shattered a urinal.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
