I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
