Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
