when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
