my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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