dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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