Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
