thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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