it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize