how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
