ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
