I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
