dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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