You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you have to choose: penises or morals?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
