the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
