just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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