No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize