Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
