dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
