somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
