its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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