i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
