i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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