Moan for me like Helen Keller
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
