can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
