wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
