their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
