woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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