I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
