Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
