SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
