It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
