there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
