Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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