If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
