He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
