Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
