It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
